Oh Brian


i had this conversation the other day with my all-time favorite solicitor, brian.  and by all-time favorite i mean he calls every year around the same time and asks for the owner of the company.  and by same time every year i mean he calls every single fucking day for like a month, multiple times a day and i love fucking with him.

but the other day, after he called for the third time, i got annoyed.

me: answers phone in a professional manner.

brian: hi.  can i talk to the owner, operator, head person in charge?

me: hey brian.

brian: is the owner, operator, head person in charge available?

me: no.

brian: do you know when he will be?

me: no.  wanna leave a message?

brian: no.  i can’t do that.  i need to talk to him.

me: do you, now?

brian: i do.

me: he’s not interested.

brian: how do you know that?

me: because we don’t give you guys money anymore.

brian: but he’s helped us out in the past.

me: well, that was the past.

brian: can i talk to the owner, operator, head person in charge?

me: no.  you can’t.  we don’t give you money anymore.  because you call incessantly.  it’s borderline harassment.

brian: harassment, hey?  so now you know more about the law than we do?

me: are you a cop?

brian: no.

me: are you a lawyer?

brian: no.

me: then i don’t understand how your question is relevant to our conversation.

brian: **hangs up on me**

i haven’t heard from brian since.

i miss him.

One thought on “Oh Brian

  1. Nicole says:

    This is hilarious! I have an inidan company that calls my work every other day and is just intent on getting us to buy into their scam. Maybe, instead of dreading these calls, I’ll do something like this!
    http://aslouisepleases.blogspot.com/

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