War On Pillows; Similar To, But Not As Cool As The War On Drugs


Nothing surprises me when it comes to the dogs.

I’m not sure what the pillows have done to offend Mac to the point that he must destroy them at all costs – but it happens all the time.  Lincoln and I used to have eight pillows.  Not so much anymore. 

On random nights over the past few weeks we’ve come home to house that looks like a winter fucking wonderland: pillow inards everywhere.  He’s taken out half of our fleet.  The picture below is what I woke up to one morning after he murdered a pillow while I slumbered. 

We’re down to two and one of those giant fish pillow things that’s a cod, or a salmon, or a rainbow trout, or a large-mouth bass.  It looks similar to this:

Lincoln named the fish Billiam.  And while I initially scoffed at the name, I’ve grown quite attached to the thing.  Moral of the story: Mac hates pillows and I was strangely all right with this until one morning, as I spooned Billiam, I discovered bite marks in him.  This is where I draw the line.  Billiam will not be a casualty of this petty, useless war Mac has waged.  I’m not ready to battle Mac yet, as he’s just too strategic.  There are those sayings about not winning battles, but winning the war. 

I’m winning the war.

In other news, while I was googling images of giant fish pillows, I came across these and I’ve decided that I must have them. 

Mark my words, I will have them.

If you want to buy a giant fish that’s shaped like a shark, a dolphin or a Billiam, I found a link for that.

Or if you want a pillow that looks like fish eggs, I found a link for that too.  This link is slightly confusing and I can’t figure how to buy these whimsical, plush pillows.  So if you find out how, let me know.

 

Catch you on the flip, ghost ride the whip.

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