…I’ve decided to do a weekly feature that will spotlight the textual conversations between B and I. Maybe if more people texted me and the conversations that ensued were ridiculous, I could feature more people. But since I don’t have a lot of friends, this will have to do.
Enjoy. Or destroy?
B: What time does Lincoln bowl?
Me: Maybe 7.
B: How do you not know?
Me: Because I don’t care.
B: You are a terrible person.
Me: I’m aware of that.
B: You know, I don’t like treating you this way, but sometimes you just get me so angry.
Me: I’ve found that I stir that emotion in many people around me.
B: Well, as long as you’ve come to terms with it, I guess I have to accept you the way you are.
Me: You do. And love me for it.
B: Love is a such a strong word.
Me: Fine. I’m going to sleep.
B: I hope you don’t wake up.
Me: Me too.
B: But then you wouldn’t be able to see me anymore.
Me: I’d haunt you.
B: At least we could still rage then.
Me: You could only be so lucky.
And then a few days later he sent me a picture of a naked man bent over on a beach with his ball sack hanging out.
In other news, I was informed by Foy at breakfast yesterday morning that I helped to destroy a fledging relationship B had embarked on. I guess it wasn’t necessarily a relationship, but moreso a “thing” via text. This girl claimed that B was nice and very sweet through texting (I don’t buy it) but was unpleasantly surprised when she friended him on facebook.
Apparently she’s not a fan of the gratuitous use of the C-word that rhymes with bunt (which is, coincidentally, my nickname with a “y” and I use quite often) or the swearing or B’s announcements that he has to #2. I will take responsiblity for my nickname, as she was offended, outright, by a picture B posted of me with the caption “Another picture of the bunt (remove the “b” and insert the “c” and say it outloud wherever you are, please).”
She’s obviously a fool.
Who wants to be around someone so easily offended?
No one. That’s the answer.
It would be nice if she read this and got offended by it. But not a lot of people read this, so that’s wishful thinking. But if you do read this and you do know her, maybe you could turn her onto this blog. And make sure to direct her to this textual conversation.