Steve Jobs Ruined My Life


So I recently got an iPhone and it was absolutely the best thing that’s ever happened to me (and I don’t care what the judgy fucks say about how I should have waited for the new one to come out.  Step.  Off.).
 
I named her Lola and filled her with all sorts of apps:
  • Tiny Tower (an absolute must for all iPhone owners)
  • Pinterest (I get nothing done)
  • The obligatory social media apps (Facebook, Twitter, etc.)
  • RotoWire (Thanks B – so I can keep up with all the fucking injuries my fantasy team is plagued with)
  • Stickies

I downloaded this Stickies thing last night and it’s basically Post-It Notes for your phone.  So I showed Lincoln what reminder I needed:

I'm very busy.

He called me an idiot.

But in my defense, he hates when I dick tap him.  But I really enjoy it.  He gets uncomfortable and squirmy and his reactions are even better when I dick tap in public.

But sometimes I forget how much I like to do it – so I added it to my Stickies and set an alarm as a reminder.  It’ll be different everyday so he’ll never see it coming.

But my Stickies board looked barren and boring so I explored and discovered you can use colored Stickies and different shaped Stickies.   So I updated my Stickies board:

Now I look more important.

 
In other news, it is with great sadness that I reveal that Lincoln WON the bet. 
I know – it’s terrible.  I really had my heart set on seeing him do the “All the Single Ladies” dance.
 
But all is not lost.  Aran, the loser, will be posting his video tomorrow.  There was talk of CGI’ing himself into the actual video. It’s going to be hilarious.
 
Stay tuned for the video…
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One thought on “Steve Jobs Ruined My Life

  1. Gina Gresch says:

    and now Steve Jobs is dead. Good job.

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