Morning Constitutional, Etc.


everyone shits.

if you’re someone like Lincoln, you shit more than the average person.  sometimes you shit while still trying to ingest whatever it is that you’re eating (also Lincoln, and in his case it’s usually Taco Bell). 

everyone has their routines when they shit.  some take their phones into the bathrooom with them (don’t you dare try to deny it).  some people prefer a magazine.  Lincoln has a book of crossword puzzles he tackles (which is good for him, because it’s chock full of them and since he shits about 7 times a day, it keeps him occupied).

frankly, when i’m in the bathroom, whether it’s 1 or 2 – i just prefer to be alone.  but that is utterly impossible in my house.  between Lincoln barging in and the obsessive animals – it’s like a goddamn party in the bathroom.

it never fails that mac will barge in if you do not close the door to the bathroom and make sure that it latches properly.  the cat will yowl at the door to be let in or sneak in when you don’t realize it and occupy himself in the bathtub.  murphy usually supervises.

this isn't weird or anything, is it? you don't mind if i just stare at you?

i'm a stupid cat.

i'm watching you.

the thought of me having children is utterly terrifying, but the fur babies in my home make it seem like i’m already a weird type of mother.  all three of them follow me everywhere and they’re constantly underfoot.  the cat isn’t a big deal.  but when two 50+ pound dogs need to be as close to you as possible – it gets a tad annoying.

 i haven’t even #2’d yet this AM.  i’m sitting in bed while Lincoln slumbers next to me.  my food porn is on and i have a coffee in hand (so #2 shouldn’t be too far off). 

i realize this post has been about nothing.  and murphy just belched while laying next to me.

consider this a teaser – but my next post will be about a killer movie called “Yeti.”

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2 thoughts on “Morning Constitutional, Etc.

  1. JustcallmeB says:

    I even read this whilst dropping the proverbial deuce.

  2. Hahahahaha My cats do the same thing, sometimes they try and jump on my lap! totally inappropriate on their behalf.

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