Monthly Archives: January 2012

i recently finished what i would say is my new favorite book.

sharp objects
by gillian flynn

it is supremely fucked up and all things terrible.  an incredible twist focusing on women as nasty, conniving characters.  none of this women being victims bullshit or simply that women are on the receiving end of awful behavior and the results of said awful behavior.  in this book, women are presented as horrible human beings – hell bent on inflicting pain and damage if it benefited them.  we very seldom see women presented as they are in this book and it’s quite refreshing.  and if you’d like, the author wrote a little essay about her book here.

for the love of all that’s holy – read this fucking book.
because it has everything.  drug use, sexual exploits, creepy, fucked up small town bullshit, deep seated family issues, murder, psychological issues, etc.

there is something about the way the author writes that makes you sympathize and hate all at the same time.  not to mention that although some parts are completely fucked up – you can’t help but judge yourself a little because at one point in your life – you’ve thought along those exact same lines.

the quote below is like an honest slap in the face.  because who doesn’t or hasn’t used alcohol as a buffer, an excuse, an escape, or as a way to cope?

“i’ve always been partial to the image of liquor as lubrication – a layer of protection from all the sharp objects in your head.”

not to mention that it simply refuses to let women be standby characters.  it pushes back when it tries to pigeon-hole women as soft characters.  it serves to prove that women be just as sick, sadistic, and fucked up as many male characters can be.  it’s nice to be able to read something that’s not so cliche when it comes to women.

this book forces you to face some of the awful truths about the character of women and that those personality traits, to some extent, exist in all of us.

who doesn't want to read a book with a fucking razor blade on the cover?

“sometimes i think illness sits inside every woman, waiting for the right moment to bloom.  i have known so many sick women all my life.  women with chronic pain, with ever-gestating diseases.  women with conditions.  men, sure, they have bone snaps, they have backaches, they have a surgery or two, yank out a tonsil, insert a shiny plastic hip.  women get consumed.”

Sick, Fucked Up Books Make For Great Reads

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The Day I Made the Milwaukee Public Market My Bitch

as a rule – i dislike milwaukee.

but i’ve discovered one redeeming quality.
the milwaukee public market.

it’s like sensory, hipster overload.  and i loved every minute of it.

nom nom nom

carrot cake.

i wanted to eat and buy everything.

see below:

i would love to.

love me some wisconsin.

flower power.

delicious daisies.

a day wouldn’t be complete without some cheese sampling.  don’t even get me started on the lunatic that just about knocked Foy and i out of the way in her haste to get to the cheese.

they didn't have swiss. fucking bullshit.

obey the sign.

then we found this fucking hipster with a badass fucking shirt.

love me a good serial killer t-shirt.

and hot damn.  these little nuggets are fantastic.

so many buddhas.


i wish i was going back soon.
but it’ll probably be a year till i journey back to that godforsaken city.

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Run DMC Gets Major Pussy

fat belly

big eyed motherfucker.

play on playa.

It’s Fucked Up That I’ll Probably Never Be A Lumberjack

i’m obsessed with flannel. 

and anything with a checkered pattern. 

and anything lumber-jack related.

don’t judge me.

here are some examples.


i also have some in red, blue, and pink.  in retrospect i could have gotten a pile of them together and taken a picture.  eh.  hindsight.

here’s some photographic evidence of me stealing the flannel that lincoln got from his parents for xmas.

and most importantly, seven brides for seven brothers.

i’ve watched this movie a gazillion times and i can’t for the life of me remember whether the brothers are lumberjacks or not.  but at one point in the movie i know they’re chopping wood.  and that’s good enough for me.  i guess it’s mainly about a bunch of brothers that can’t let any of their other brothers have a tiny bit of individuality.
but what i do know is that i would like to be a lumberjack for day.  mainly for the flannel.
ok only for the flannel. 

and only if i could get a blue ox named babe like paul bunyan.

and only if the ox is a spray painted corgi.

but that won’t happen.  i just have Chuck McCat.  and he’s terrible with an ax.

he is great at napping.

The Salty Taste in My Mouth

over at one of my favorite blogs she does a piece where she covers things that are making her “ridiculously happy.”  check her out.

i’d like to do a spin on that, but just for this week, because i’ve been happier than normal and i can only contribute it to things i’ve encountered this week.

1. the civil wars – i’ve had them on my iPhone for weeks but have just went hardcore on listening to them this week.  it is pure love.

2. this organizer i got for my desk.  i thought it was going to be bigger but when i received it and realized it was baby size – i loved it even more.

if it had cheeks, i would pinch them.

3. teaching people lessons.

4. being a bitch.

**sidenote.  3 & 4 often go together.  two birds, people.  two.  birds.

5. anything serial killer related  like this which then leads me to this picture that i discovered the other day:

what the fuck.

6. b sent me this last week and i keep forgetting about it.

it's true.

it’s the little things i guess.  i think i’m coming down from my happiness high – because i’m not that happy currently. 

but i also i think it has to do with the fact that there’s a highly anticipated rape scene in the book i’m reading and i haven’t gotten to it yet.  and i’m getting impatient.  and being impatient makes me unhappy.

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In Which I Say Fuck Off to SOPA

publishing freedom is a right we must protect. 
and protect it we shall.

click here to join the fight.

and check out this video to learn more.


i realize i didn’t really say much.  but the above people say it better.

and SOPA would literally ruin everything.


so do your part.  join the fight.  let’s all say “fuck off” to SOPA.


Tumor Muffin Cometh.

here i stand.  i can do no other.
martin luther said that.

but i’m not standing.  i’m sitting.

because i’m weak. 
this weekend was hard on my mind, body, and soul.

it began with this:

nom nom nom

i got so excited when my entrée came that i immediately shoveled it into my mouth without taking a picture. 
i make no apologies.  that shrimp and crab cannelloni was orgasmic.
nothing got too out of hand, thank god, which is surprising considered i packed in 5 drinks and 3 shots.

B is photo bombing.

i’m currently in a food and alcohol comatose state.
monday i resume my diet and i could not be more excited for that.
in the meantime i’ve managed to pack in the following:

tumor muffin.



it looks like i’m obsessed with breakfast foods.
but in reality – i’m just obsessed with all food.

like this:

cock cake.

or inappropriate things like these:

i wish.

kinky pussy.

b and i are working on murdering this:


well, with that, i must bid thee farewell.
i have a lot of drinking and bad decisions to fit into a single afternoon.

wish me luck.

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Game Changer? Vibrator Necklace.

i went to one of those filthy sex toy parties this afternoon.
it felt like i’d finally come home.  finally made that trip to the holy land.

nothing like a table full of vibrators and lube to really brighten someone’s day.

i tried to be nice and ask lincoln if he wanted me to get him anything.  so i sent him this picture of some options:

he didn't want any of them.

that’s fine.  that’s just the last time i’ll offer to ever get him anything.

i got some tingly balm for your lips and nipples:

i tested it first.

and this.  my new necklace:

relax. i haven't used it yet.

and in the spirit of all things phallic shaped – i’m going to go eat another brat.

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Drunken Photo Booth

i’ve started three different blogs. the alcohol fog hasn’t dispersed from my brain yet so i can‘t seem to focus on anything.
the pineapple upside down vodka monstrosity that i’m sipping on probably doesn’t help.

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