My Border Collie Is Actively Trying To Ruin My Life

got my hands on this infant again the other night:

i offered to let shitler hold her but his comment was “no, i’ve held babies before” and then “i’ll hold her when she’s two.”  i guess he has a point.  all babies are the same.  

except the ugly ones.  

and ugly babies do exist.  don’t even try to deny that ugly babies don’t.  they do.  and you’re a liar if you say otherwise.  but sommer isn’t one of those.  there’s a special place for her.  one that’s filled with sparkles, unicorns, and mommy’s breasts.

YOU’RE WELCOME betsy. because your boobs look fantastic.

and check out her fat little baby thighs.  i died.

i bet they taste delicious.

also, i’m convinced that when babies yawn it’s really their cute way of covering up the fact that they’re stealing your soul.


in two unrelated topics:

first, shitler and i went to go get wings last night.
and our neighbor kept throwing used chicken bone carcasses on the floor:

we were not at texas roadhouse, nor is that a peanut.

secondly – in true mac-fashion we came home to the destroyer of all things pillow and also an entire plate of banana bread bars:

he’s such a dick.

lastly, shitler woke me up last night to tell me that he had gotten up to pee and while he was downstairs he ate a cupcake.  at 3AM.  

i’m indifferent.


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