Boats and Hoes: Installment 1: The Tame Version


i’m going to be honest about the tie-up.

it’s a shit show.  
a goddamn shit show.

and one year that i went – i almost died.  
not even kidding.

i may have been a tiny bit wasted while treading water when a large man canon-balled on top of me causing me to crack my skull on the underside of the boat. where i may have blacked out.  and then was hoisted out of the water by some nice gentlemen while a group of gawking fellow drunks looked on hoping that i didn’t drown.  and then i collapsed back at the house and ate shit into a pile of rocks.  i was battered and bruised.

but this year i vowed that it would be different.  that i would redeem myself.  and i’d like to think that i did.
but in an effort to string you along – i’m just submitting some subdued photos and a video.

because tomorrow’s post has got the good shit.  like thongs, and packages, and hot chicks, and gratuitous water sex.

you’re welcome.

and may i just preface this video with the fact that it was only noon at this point and got progressively worse and worse.

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6 thoughts on “Boats and Hoes: Installment 1: The Tame Version

  1. Natalie says:

    Ok… I watched the video and it’s tagged “water sex” …. where is it? I wanna see people fuckin in the water!!!!

    LMAO xoxo

  2. Natalie says:

    OH!! And I got your button back up 🙂

  3. Sammantha says:

    This makes yesterdays tweet make a whole lot more sense. I imagined you going up to random houses and peeking in windows. Which, for the record, I wouldn’t put past you. XOXOXOXOXOX sexxxxxxx

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