i had this conversation the other day with my all-time favorite solicitor, brian. and by all-time favorite i mean he calls every year around the same time and asks for the owner of the company. and by same time every year i mean he calls every single fucking day for like a month, multiple times a day and i love fucking with him.
but the other day, after he called for the third time, i got annoyed.
me: answers phone in a professional manner.
brian: hi. can i talk to the owner, operator, head person in charge?
me: hey brian.
brian: is the owner, operator, head person in charge available?
brian: do you know when he will be?
me: no. wanna leave a message?
brian: no. i can’t do that. i need to talk to him.
me: do you, now?
brian: i do.
me: he’s not interested.
brian: how do you know that?
me: because we don’t give you guys money anymore.
brian: but he’s helped us out in the past.
me: well, that was the past.
brian: can i talk to the owner, operator, head person in charge?
me: no. you can’t. we don’t give you money anymore. because you call incessantly. it’s borderline harassment.
brian: harassment, hey? so now you know more about the law than we do?
me: are you a cop?
me: are you a lawyer?
me: then i don’t understand how your question is relevant to our conversation.
brian: **hangs up on me**
i haven’t heard from brian since.
i miss him.