Category Archives: high five friday

High Five 4 Friday

i’m running out of clever ways to say “oh hey, it’s friday and it’s time for that link up.

soooooo it’s friday and it’s time for that link up.

1. it’s shark week.  which for me – means i can’t wait for fucking shark week to be over so i don’t have to hear people talk about it like they’ve always watched it when in reality we alllllll know you only started watching it after you saw step brothers.

2. i drank a bottle of champagne the other night.  this is the cap.

i don’t follow.  how do they i’m going to enjoy it?  


like smash the bottle and try to drink straight from it – jagged edges and all?  or are they referring to drinking and driving?  because i don’t do that.  i prefer drinking in the safety of my own home and not having to leave.  

champagne – you need to be more specific.

3.  at the risk of sounding like an obsessive freak i’m going to talk about invisible monsters again.  and it won’t be the last time either.  but i finished it.  and i bawled like a fucking baby.  because it is, by far, one of the most incredible books i have ever read.

4. this picture is pretty self-explanatory.  because if it doesn’t make your week you’re probably a fucking terrorist.

5. it’s this wise man’s 5th birthday.  hats off to you murphy lee.  you’re a gentleman and a scholar.

lastly, with the weekend upon us i’ve been thinking about the phrase “hot to trot.”  i don’t exactly know what it means but i assume that a lot of people will be drunkenly doing so this weekend.

so get out there with your hot to trot-ed-ness.


High Five 4 Friday

so we’ve established that i make poor choices, correct?


like i was actually getting over a nasty stomach virus and instead of laying low and taking it easy on my stomach i ate nachos, tacos, and vodka last night.  and then some pizza for dessert.
for shame.

but it’s friday – and if that doesn’t cure what ails me then i don’t know what will.
as always i’m linking up with lauren at from my grey desk.

1. b brought a cape back from the bar the other weekend.  so naturally shitler put it on.  now it’s like he’s a super hero.

2. some sick freak kept vandalizing my desk.  but the culprit came forward this week.  glory be!
also – it turns out i like the culprit.  so she’s forgiven.

3. i spend a lot of time on twitter.  mainly lol’ing @OhMrWonka

4. we’re back in business.  welcome home little boy booze!
yes, the name of our boat is little boy booze.  and yes, i’m aware that boats are supposed to be female.  and yes, i don’t care.

5. and maybe you’re a terrorist if you don’t collectively “awwwww” with me over this.  

trixie bitch

i have this nagging feeling that there isn’t enough coffee in the world to get me through today.
but we won’t know until i try.

and remember – the walrus sings at midnight.

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High Five 4 Friday

it’s that time again.
and it is glorious.

i’m looking forward to having next to nothing on the docket.
but in the meantime – i’m linking up with lauren at from my grey desk with 5 things i’m high-fiving for the week.

1. a pretty spectacular signal that the crazy, ridiculous weekend was finally over.

2. omg.omg.omg.omg.omg.  they finally came.  my new books!

3. just when i don’t think true blood could even get any better – this guy shows up.

4. i finally shaved my legs this week.  ya.  it may or may not have been a week-and-a-half (or two, i lost track).  and while it doesn’t seem so bad – i spend a lot of time in dresses and outdoors.  and i probably could have gone longer but i had a minor panic attack when my leg rubbed up against a co-worker and the possibility flashed through my brain that i may i have just cut them with my sharp leg hair.  so i figured it was time.  so here’s an ode to my razor.

5. raise your hand if you like a good deal?  raise hand if you prefer said good deal that you just raised your hand for liking be alcohol related.  i raised mine.  and it happened this week.  two bottles for the price of one plus $2 off.  it’s like i stole it. 

well, there you have it.

catch you on the flip, ghost ride the whip.

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High Five 4 Friday

whose hollering with me?  hollering about friday, i mean.

let’s do it together.


i’m linking up with lauren over at from my grey desk.


1. just saw this movie this week.  and i’m officially in love.  one of the best i’ve seen in awhile.  i think about it for the better part of my days.  and how i’d rather be parked on the couch watching it.

2. oh my god.  she kills me.  and i don’t care what anyone says.  she looks like a tan falcor.  and if you don’t know who falcor is or where it’s from – you can go fuck off.

3.  i’m going to say this and you’re probably going to judge me.  but it was the 1,000th episode of monday night raw this week.  and i watched it.  and i enjoyed it.  and i coveted jericho’s jacket like i do every time i see it.


4. the tie-up.the tie-up.the tie-up.the tie-up.the tie-up.the tie-up.the tie-up.  i’m sure that will be a separate post entirely.  because the tie-up is filled with booze, boats, and boobs.  and it’s this weekend.  and i’m so happy.  and i’m going to really try hard to not almost die this time around.


5. and with the tie-up happening this weekend it brings shiter’s boyfriends to town.  

3 guys. 1 raft.



it’s the weekend.
like missy elliot said
get your freak on.



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High Five 4 Friday

ahhhhhhh, the sweetness that is friday.  and the sweetness of having little going on this weekend.
i couldn’t take another weekend chock full of fun.  it would kill me.

so here’s what i’m high-fiving for the week and my link-up with lauren over at from my grey desk.

1. the nonsense that is me going to the grocery store for dog food and ending up with this.  i blame the weekend festivities still clouding my poor brain.

2. uhhh, because cramming your dog-self underneath the desk in this contorted position seems totally normal.  and comfortable.

3. because i cannot stop listening to all things murder by death.  they.are.everything.

4. shitler.  demonstrating that at first the super fox indicated he was a dick with no balls.

5. and every once and awhile i take a great picture.  and in this case it looks like the gods are angry and set on consuming this material world with their angry clouds.

it’s the weekend.
get nasty.
i dare you.

High Five 4 Friday

fucking finally.

i hate being spoiled by weeks where there’s a holiday and then you’re forced to endure an ENTIRE work week.  life isn’t fair.

but at least there’s the weekly link up over at from my grey desk with lauren.

and here’s what i’m high-fiving.


1. snatch those ‘maters right from the vine.  big ups to shitler and his green thumb.  i can’t wait to eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

2. i am now violently obsessed with true blood.  

yes, i know, i am once again way behind.  

but i can’t stop watching.  and i’ve devised plans to make shitler leave the house on a nightly basis so i can get my fix.  except every time bill is on i get an overwhelming compulsion to just shut the fucking show off.  because he annoys the ever-loving shit out of me.  

this guy, on the other hand, does not.

3. this nut.  he kills me with this moronic behavior and stalker-like tendencies.  he is just all up in my business all the time.

4.  god.  chemistry cat gets me every time.

5. what ‘chu like.  a whole ‘lotta.  tyyyyyyrreeeeeeeeese.

i can’t stop listening.

don’t judge me.


High Five 4 Friday

thankfully it’s friday.  again.  for like the second time this week.  and it’s both confusing and exhausting.

but that means it’s also link-up time with lauren over at from my grey desk.

tiger, tiger woods ya’all.

1. i could eat these for breakfast, lunch, and fucking dinner.

2. oh god.  and then these.  blueberry cheesecake bars with blueberry compote.

3.  because a gun mug is worth mentioning twice.  because it’s a fucking GUN MUG.

4.  i don’t mind enjoying this every night.

5.  he’s all mine ladies.

i’d like to say that i won’t imbibe this weekend but we all know that’s a lie.


High Five 4 Friday

zang zadam.
heyyyyyy friday.  i’m so glad you’re here.  like, seriously glad.  because it’s been awhile and i hate when we go this long without seeing each other.

so here’s my link up with lauren over at from my grey desk.

1. foy gave me this wine stopper for my birthday (which was back in my may and i’m just getting it now because we went an eternity without seeing each other).  i’m pretty pumped.
except it’s forced me to not ingest a bottle in one sitting so that i can actually use the wine stopper.

2. the game of thrones series, in all of its entirety, will be the death of me.  i don’t have the show till february so i have been obsessively reading the books.  obsessively in such a way that it feels like real life gets in the way.  and by real life i mean work, and shitler, and showering.

3. shitler is a clever fox.  i’ll give him that.  i never did get sgt. bilko for my birthday.that is until this week.  when he found it on hbo, recorded it, and declared that this counts as getting me sgt bilko for my birthday.

4. artichokes and asparagus in mass amounts.  let the love affair continue.  i can’t stop eating them.  i made these cheesy artichoke squares this week and i’ve been eating them everyday.  not to mention my asparagus pee is a testament to my maturity because i seriously laugh at my smelly pee every time i urinate.

5.  i’m sorry if water and sunsets are getting redundant.
but i love them.
a lot.
so fucking deal with it.

and we’re off.  time to hit the ground running.  and by that – i mean avoid making plans with anyone so i can just read a storm of swords all weekend.

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High Five 4 Friday


if you’re looking for a surefire way to get drunk please drink the following:

  • bota box of wine (it’s like a juice box.  only no juice.  only wine)
  • glass of rumchata
  • jager bomb
  • 2 glasses of boxed wine
  • shot of jager
  • a beer

so thank god it’s friday.  and i only have to work eight hours today.

here’s my link up for lauren’s high five 4 friday over at from my grey desk.

1. any glass of red wine.  seriously.

2. this cat.  because he might kill me.

3. 69’ing wedding bears at the $1 store.  they can’t help they like to fornicate in public.  and dabble in erotic asphyxiation.  

4. i have no words for my dog.  he is a fucking nut-bag.

5. ladies and gentleman – i have stuck with something for two.whole.weeks.  and oddly enough – it’s running.  which is the practically the worst thing in the world.  and if one more person asks me how awesome it is as i get used to it i will cram my fist down your throat.  because i hate it.  i hate every fucking minute of it.

so thank goodness it’s the weekend.  what’s on the docket?  more miserable running.  joy.

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High Five 4 Friday

ever since i took a sabbatical from the restaurant i have fallen into the typical i’m-so-damn-giddy-because-it’s-friday category.  because i don’t have to fucking work.  it’s crazy.  not working a second job means i can actually do stuff.  or not do stuff.  which, who are we kidding, it’s usually the latter in my case. 

but here we are – it’s friday and i wouldn’t mind a high-fiving strangers i’m so excited.  why you ask?  because of the following delightful link up that i’ve recently started loving over at from my grey desk.

so here are the things i’m high-fiving.

1. going up north.  it’s happening this afternoon.  and it will be filled with nonsense, and books, and wine, and relaxing, and napping and i couldn’t be more excited about it.

i’m well aware that drinking and sharp objects don’t typically go well together.

2. this fool.  because the minute i get home i am the only thing he is all about.

3. asparagus.  seriously.  i’ve eating it almost every night this week and it just doesn’t get old.  neither does my smelly pee.  because i’m immature and i laugh hysterically every time i urinate.

4. in other green, shrubbery related news – the 1st sprouting of shitler’s tomato plants have arrived.

5. game. of. thrones.  because i’m obsessed.  and i have cashed almost all of season one and two in less than a week.  and it’s literally all i think about all day.  and when shitler tells me he’s going over to his friends i get giddy.  like beyond excited that i can bury myself in the couch in a cocoon of blankets and watch it for the next six hours without any judgement or bitching from shitler.

and in my defense i have learned a lot from game of thrones.
like the fact that the night is dark and filled with terror.
and that if you’re the mother of dragons people don’t fuck with you.
that eating the heart of a horse makes you strong.
that incest is totally okay.
that the lannisters always pay their debts.
that you can torture someone by putting a rat in a bucket, strapping said buck to someone’s chest, lighting the end of the bucket on fire and the rat will eat it’s way into your stomach in an effort to escape the heat – thus torturing.
that if shitler and i ever get another boat i’m going to name it “the sea bitch.”
and that i’m going to start sending messages via raven because i think it’s more dramatic and demands an immediate response (
like from the travel agent that’s been dicking me around for the last week.  an email is just so common nowadays but if a raven arrived and pecked at her window with a message she’d be like “this lady means business, i should get back to her.”).

and that’s that.  although i’ve been plotting the remainder of my day.  and i’m pretty positive i have time to squeeze in one more episode of game of thrones after i’m done with work and the gym and before we leave for up north.  enduring shitler’s wrath is totally worth it.  

because i’ve learned how to endure wrath from game of thrones.

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