Category Archives: jizz

Food Porn Monday


i’m super passionate about looking at pictures of food i want to eat.  
but then never actually eating it most of the time.
like just fantasizing about it:
food porn style.

so i thought that maybe it would be tortuously fun to present you with the five things i’ve found that made me cry due to orgasm-induced happiness.  every monday.

lobster roll

via serious eats

peanut butter bacon banana bread

via how sweet it is

grilled, bacon topped meatloaf stuffed with beer cheese

via serious eats

grilled taco pizza

via pass the sushi

fried Chicken, honey Butter, and biscuit Sandwiches

via serious eats

that last one brought a legitimate tear to my eye.
and if you can’t tell i really, really like the serious eats website.  like a lot. 

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So What If It Looks Like a Smurf Jizzed All Over My Fingers


i’m covered in batter and frosting.  and it’s caked on and sticky. and after i find a patch of it and wash it off i find more.  it’s never ending. 

but i guess that’s better than actual smurf jizz.

things got a little out of control in the cupcake department tonight.

and i decided to do something outrageous with the cupcake batter:

i blue myself - a la arrested development.

smurf jizz cupcakes.

i was excited about smurf jizz cupcakes until shitler suggested i do this:

so now i have brewers cupcakes.  which is ok – because they won tonight.

but i also have a shitload of cupcakes.  so it’s good that i bought this cupcake tote (something i never thought i would say) during my frenzied shopping:

more importantly, shitler kept eating the frosting (sometimes by the spoonful).  then he ate a cupcake.  after he ate like five tacos.  then i made him eat another cupcake because i had cut it open and wanted to take a picture of it and i didn’t want it to go to waste. 

he protested. 

but caved. 

then he made love to it.

then he said he was going to puke. 

then he got up and took a shit.

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