Category Archives: march madness

I Don’t Think This Was The Jelly Beyonce Was Talking About

and lord knows i wasn’t ready for it.

apparently b put these in my purse two or three months ago and i’m just finally discovering that they exploded all over.

yes, they're covered in hair.

that’s fine.  

even though everything in my purse was covered in a sticky layer of jelly it at least smelled like strawberries.

oh, here’s my purse.  and its contents. 

contents include, but aren’t limited to:

  • wallet
  • 2 books
  • twilight returns movie
  • re-usable grocery bag thing
  • pepto
  • various beverages
  • headphones
  • deodorant
  • tiny satchel thing
  • 2 kinds of body sprays
  • 3 chapsticks
  • sunglasses
  • loaf of bread
  • triscuits
  • new barbells and nose rings
  • a thousand receipts
  • birthday card from last year
  • keys
  • lotion
  • jelly
  • 26 cents
  • my crumpled march madness bracket

oddly enough – no pens.

and no, that printer wasn’t in my purse.  although i’m sure it would fit.

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Let The Cocks Abound.

first things first.

i’ve decided to start working with one ear bud in and my music blasting.  it’s been the only thing to keep me sane all day and drowns out most of what i can’t handle hearing on a daily basis (which is everything).

secondly, i’ve thought about work related things about 1% today.  the other 99% has been about the only thing that matters for the next four weeks.  MARCH MOTHERFUCKING MADNESS.  seriously.  i can’t wait to get the fuck out of work and go to the bar to watch the games.  it will be grand.

in the meantime – the bloggess, bless her kind soul, posted this gem today so i’ve been printing, laminating, and creating puppets for the majority of my day.

it’s all fun and games until someone gets a cock in their cube:


also – i haven’t made a puppet yet.  i have the means.  but that entails eating dilly bars from dq and i’m so full i could puke from the chicken salad sandwich i horked down for lunch.  so instead, i’ve been peer pressuring my co-workers into eating them and then stealing the popsicle sticks for my own selfish purposes.

the means to an end.

and when i went to investigate the dilly bar situation i forgot i bought this yesterday at 7AM:

i'm an impulsive shopper in the wee hours of the morning.

soon my little cock friends…very soon you will have dirty popsicle sticks shoved where i imagine your butthold would be: