Category Archives: photo shoot

Twitter Book Club For Two. But It Could Be For More – If You Wanted


i don’t have a ton of self-control when it comes to things that i’m obsessed with.

case in point – books that i could devour in one hour if left to my own devices.
i’m talking i can’t even have them on my desk at work because i tend to just steal glances at them throughout the day and secretly long to hide under my desk with a flashlight so i can just fucking finish it.

so i got my paws on a chuck palahniuk book – invisible monsters
it’s so, so supremely fucked.
so fucked, in fact, that i immediately banged through a hundred pages and then constantly tweeted about it and then thought that maybe a twitter book club that had two members would be a good idea so i asked sammantha and if we were face-to-face for that conversation i feel confident saying that she would have scoffed at me for even asking because it’s a no fucking brainer that she’d be on board.

so here were are – in a twitter book club for two.
and i love it.
love it so much that i do photo shoots with my book.  
like a freak.

so you should read it too.
join us in our twitter book club.

find me @itgotweird and sammanatha @sammanthamae

we’ve only just begun.

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Whiskey, Water, & Whimsy


so the last time i was on the chain up in minocqua, wi i was so hungover that i spent the majority of the terrible boat ride wallowing in my own shame and hangover while every once and awhile leaning over the side of the boat to vomit.  all because i thought it appropriate to pressure myself and others into taking shot after shot after shot of various alcohols the night before.  worst.idea.ever.  i’d like to say that i’ve learned my lesson since and haven’t done anything similar – but that would a lie.

like any other weekend up north it’s comprised mainly of drinking, sleeping, more drinking, reading, drinking, eating, and then desperately trying to recover.  and then when the weekend is over you feel as though you need another weekend in order to rest from the shit show you just subjected yourself to.

please see below.

wendy and i decided it would be appropriate to buy these obnoxious clip-in feathers.
worst $5 i’ve ever spent.

and then shitler insisted on trying it on.

and then ryder channeled his inner jimmy fallon and decided to write thank you notes.

though these are not my legs we did spend quite a bit of time doing this and i managed to devour two books.  while slightly intoxicated.  and i retained most of it.
go ahead, fucking test me.

tell me HOW drinks can’t not go down nice and smooth with this straw?

and then all of the sudden everyone was drunk.  again.  and there was a grease soundtrack singalong.

and then a photo shoot where we took photos and one of us didn’t like the way one of us looked so we kept taking pictures and i drunkenly declared “the more the better!!”  and then we started doing tequila shots.  or it could have been before.  it’s a fucking blur.  oh, and apparently when i say “the more the better!!” i mean 60 fucking photos of me and wendy.  how embarrassing.

i can only imagine what this dog thought of the entire situation.

i felt strangely average come sunday.  so boating wasn’t the hellish experience it was last time.

although someone could have contracted tetanus.

if there’s one thing i’m proud of – it’s the fact that i ingested an obscene amount of food on sunday.  like two diet cokes, a screwdriver, a chicken finger basket that included cole slaw, french fries, and a deep fried breadstick, nacho cheese and chips, string cheese, a bag of bbq chips, red bull, a bag of beef jerky, a hamburger and a bunch of sides, and like 16 bottles of water.  

success.

and this damn song has been on repeat on my iPhone all damn weekend.  

so between the feather clips, photo shoots and this song i have officially reverted back to being a thirteen year old girl.

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Because I Like When Shitler Pretends To Be Randy Orton


ever forget about the nonsensical pictures on your phone?

story.of. my life.

considering i have other 3,000 of them.  it’s a serious problem.

i re-discovered these gems today.

in which i think i’m a photographer.

this fucking dog and her sitting.

shitler looks bashful and b is far too excited about that yarn.

because i don’t know why jesus and the miz wouldn’t hang out.

i’ve become strangely obsessed with the apex predator.

totally. serious.

A Series In Poor Choices


i just wanted to lay in bed all day and watch bedknobs and broomsticks.  but no.  it’s wednesday.  and i had to work.  while hungover.  severely.  

so severely that i ate my lunch before 9am.  so severely that i didn’t even heat it up – just dunked a cold hamburger patty in lemon poppy seed dressing.  i’m a fucking wreck.

in my defense – it was shitler’s last night of bowling and i can’t tolerate being at that fucking place when i’m sober.  so i indulged.  and now i’m paying the price.  here’s a few ridiculous fucking pictures from last night:

me. and the wheez.

because normal pictures would be too easy.

oh, good news.  shitler is the champion of his fantasy football league.  

also, he got a trophy.

what’s that?  you don’t care?  ya, me either.

but i do like trophies.

and shoving them up people’s asses.

and apparently shitler and i can take a decent photo together:

you’ll have to excuse me.  i need more bayer advanced strength.  and another gallon of water.  if there were a contest for being the most dehydrated – i would win.

but today wasn’t all bad.  i remembered that i did hit the eight ball in to win a game of pool last night.  i only won because b was my partner and he got every other ball in.   i’m not even joking.

and then my friend the super fox sent me the best text in the world.  seriously.  it was this and only this:

but now i’m concerned.  does jeff have cancer?  and why is his hair like that?

also – i would post a picture of the super fox and me but i don’t have one.  and upon thinking about it – i don’t know if i do want one.  because she’s infinitely gorgeous and i am infinitely not.  

also – my hand smells.  that is all.

Sweet Mullets


i can’t even begin to tell you how much i love sweet mullets.  

by far, the most fantastic bar discovery of all time (thanks to wendy and ryder).

this bar is all wisconsin.  if it’s not produced in wisconsin – they don’t carry it.
so beer and cheese abounds.  and i couldn’t be any happier.

 

sunday may have been one of the best days of my life.  because after indulging in beer and cheese to the point that it forced me into a happiness coma – i got to hold a baby!  again (i’m still in shock that people let me hold their babies)! 

be prepared for a barrage of fucking cute baby pictures.  

sommer is the sweetest thing on the face of the planet.
i fucking dare you to tell me otherwise.

those fingers look goddamn delicious.

face time.

i would eat that crusted drool on her face she's so perfect.

simba and rafiki. classic lion king pose.

i like to smell my food before i eat it.

this post is about practically nothing and everything at the same time.

sorry.

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The Day I Made the Milwaukee Public Market My Bitch


as a rule – i dislike milwaukee.

but i’ve discovered one redeeming quality.
the milwaukee public market.

it’s like sensory, hipster overload.  and i loved every minute of it.

nom nom nom

carrot cake.

i wanted to eat and buy everything.

see below:

i would love to.

love me some wisconsin.

flower power.

delicious daisies.

a day wouldn’t be complete without some cheese sampling.  don’t even get me started on the lunatic that just about knocked Foy and i out of the way in her haste to get to the cheese.

they didn't have swiss. fucking bullshit.

obey the sign.

then we found this fucking hipster with a badass fucking shirt.

love me a good serial killer t-shirt.

and hot damn.  these little nuggets are fantastic.

so many buddhas.

godzilla!

i wish i was going back soon.
but it’ll probably be a year till i journey back to that godforsaken city.

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Tumor Muffin Cometh.


here i stand.  i can do no other.
martin luther said that.

but i’m not standing.  i’m sitting.

because i’m weak. 
this weekend was hard on my mind, body, and soul.

it began with this:

nom nom nom

i got so excited when my entrée came that i immediately shoveled it into my mouth without taking a picture. 
i make no apologies.  that shrimp and crab cannelloni was orgasmic.
nothing got too out of hand, thank god, which is surprising considered i packed in 5 drinks and 3 shots.

B is photo bombing.

i’m currently in a food and alcohol comatose state.
monday i resume my diet and i could not be more excited for that.
in the meantime i’ve managed to pack in the following:

tumor muffin.

BACON.

beyond.

it looks like i’m obsessed with breakfast foods.
but in reality – i’m just obsessed with all food.

like this:

cock cake.

or inappropriate things like these:

i wish.

kinky pussy.

b and i are working on murdering this:

sinner.

well, with that, i must bid thee farewell.
i have a lot of drinking and bad decisions to fit into a single afternoon.

wish me luck.

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Drunken Photo Booth


i’ve started three different blogs. the alcohol fog hasn’t dispersed from my brain yet so i can‘t seem to focus on anything.
the pineapple upside down vodka monstrosity that i’m sipping on probably doesn’t help.

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I’m Fucking Sorry


for me being obnoxious with this blog. 

i feel like an overbearing mother.  or one of those annoying people on social networks that bombard you with shit you don’t care about.  ie. their babies, their dogs, their bullshit, etc.

i’ve become obsessed with incredibooth on my iphone.  i apologize.

see below.

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