Category Archives: twitter

Twitter Book Club For Two. But It Could Be For More – If You Wanted

i don’t have a ton of self-control when it comes to things that i’m obsessed with.

case in point – books that i could devour in one hour if left to my own devices.
i’m talking i can’t even have them on my desk at work because i tend to just steal glances at them throughout the day and secretly long to hide under my desk with a flashlight so i can just fucking finish it.

so i got my paws on a chuck palahniuk book – invisible monsters
it’s so, so supremely fucked.
so fucked, in fact, that i immediately banged through a hundred pages and then constantly tweeted about it and then thought that maybe a twitter book club that had two members would be a good idea so i asked sammantha and if we were face-to-face for that conversation i feel confident saying that she would have scoffed at me for even asking because it’s a no fucking brainer that she’d be on board.

so here were are – in a twitter book club for two.
and i love it.
love it so much that i do photo shoots with my book.  
like a freak.

so you should read it too.
join us in our twitter book club.

find me @itgotweird and sammanatha @sammanthamae

we’ve only just begun.

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Steve Jobs Ruined My Life

So I recently got an iPhone and it was absolutely the best thing that’s ever happened to me (and I don’t care what the judgy fucks say about how I should have waited for the new one to come out.  Step.  Off.).
I named her Lola and filled her with all sorts of apps:
  • Tiny Tower (an absolute must for all iPhone owners)
  • Pinterest (I get nothing done)
  • The obligatory social media apps (Facebook, Twitter, etc.)
  • RotoWire (Thanks B – so I can keep up with all the fucking injuries my fantasy team is plagued with)
  • Stickies

I downloaded this Stickies thing last night and it’s basically Post-It Notes for your phone.  So I showed Lincoln what reminder I needed:

I'm very busy.

He called me an idiot.

But in my defense, he hates when I dick tap him.  But I really enjoy it.  He gets uncomfortable and squirmy and his reactions are even better when I dick tap in public.

But sometimes I forget how much I like to do it – so I added it to my Stickies and set an alarm as a reminder.  It’ll be different everyday so he’ll never see it coming.

But my Stickies board looked barren and boring so I explored and discovered you can use colored Stickies and different shaped Stickies.   So I updated my Stickies board:

Now I look more important.

In other news, it is with great sadness that I reveal that Lincoln WON the bet. 
I know – it’s terrible.  I really had my heart set on seeing him do the “All the Single Ladies” dance.
But all is not lost.  Aran, the loser, will be posting his video tomorrow.  There was talk of CGI’ing himself into the actual video. It’s going to be hilarious.
Stay tuned for the video…

Light Sabers are Little Slices of Heaven

I think the biggest mistake people make when it comes to Monday is expecting that they may not be as terrible as their nature suggests. 

But they are.  Mondays are awful. 

The trick to dealing with them is to go into any given Monday with extremely low expectations.  And by low, I mean rock-fucking-bottom.  By doing so, you’re ensuring at least a sliver of hope on these godforsaken days.

Would you believe me if I informed you that today has officially become one of the best days of my life? 

Well, you should.  Because it is.

Today started out like any other.  I woke up late.  I tripped over my idiot dogs.  I couldn’t find any clean clothes.  I had to go work (where I have to deal with people; which is terrible and I hate it).  But none of that meant that it was technically a bad day – because it’s a typical Monday.  So although it depressed me, it didn’t super depress me (which is a tiny win, in and of itself). 

My day progressed.  I forgot my sunglasses so I had to drive into the blinding sun.  I forgot my glasses so I had a headache all morning from staring at the computer screen.  I went to Wal-Mart on my lunch break to buy some more sports bras but then got to the register and it didn’t have a scanny bar code thing on it and instead of being a typical three pack, someone jacked ONE so I was left with two.  I didn’t have time to wait for them to page and get a new set so I left with nothing but a sinking, unsuccessful feeling.

But it was still a typical Monday and I was still overcome by that feeling of indifference.  Until I checked my email.  And then confirmed with my Twitter.  And I had to do a double take.

The Bloggess was following me on Twitter. 

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.  I simply adore her and all her weirdness.

So my day got infinitely better. 

But what really tipped the scales was this:

Are you fucking kidding me?

I love me a ridiculous picture of an animal – I mean, who doesn’t? 

But a light saber??? 

Simply.  Heavenly. 

Know what’s even better?  Discovering that there’s a whole fucking website dedicated to this awesomeness.

So, to sum up my Monday – it’s been fucking fantastic.  The work day is almost over which means I can see the vodka at the end of the tunnel and that always makes me happy. 

This also makes me happy:

I could have hit the photo fucking jackpot if I would have placed a cup in the foreground. I could have entitled it: "Two Lincolns, One Cup."

So Monday was good.  It was really good.

It wasn’t unlike any other Monday until that tinge of validation washed over me and changed everything. 

I suppose it could all be a mistake.  A mis-click. 

That The Bloggess didn’t mean to follow me on Twitter.  I certainly hope it isn’t a mistake.  But if it is, I can deal with it. 

Because at least I’ll have those light saber-wielding animals.

You're welcome.